Grief is a journey that impacts every part of your being—your heart, mind, and body. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a life change you didn’t see coming, grief often feels overwhelming. Amid such profound emotions, you might find yourself grappling with questions and misconceptions about what grief really is. You may have heard about the traditional stages of grief, but what if these stages don’t fit your experience? It’s time to take a closer look at the stages of grief and help you navigate your unique healing journey.

What Are the Stages of Grief—and Do They Really Apply to You?

You’ve likely heard about the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages were initially developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her work with patients facing terminal illness. However, over time, these stages have been generalized to all forms of grief, whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one or facing another kind of life transition.

But here’s the problem: grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Trying to force yourself into these stages can leave you feeling like you’re grieving the “wrong” way. The truth is, no two grief journeys are the same. You might feel angry one moment, overwhelmed by sadness the next, or skip stages entirely. When you expect grief to follow a strict sequence, it can add confusion and even guilt to your healing process. It’s okay for your grief to look different from what you’ve heard. Grief is as unique as the relationships and experiences you’ve lost.

Why the Five Stages Don’t Capture the Full Picture of Grief

While the five stages of grief were a groundbreaking way to think about emotional pain, they fall short in fully addressing the complexity of loss. For one, they focus on intellectualizing grief, which often prevents you from dealing with the true emotions you’re feeling. Grief is not just a sequence of steps—it’s an emotional rollercoaster, and everyone rides it differently.

Many people struggle with the notion that they must follow these stages to heal properly. If you don’t feel anger, for example, does that mean you’re grieving incorrectly? Absolutely not. You might experience emotions that don’t fit neatly into these categories. Rather than trying to move through stages, the focus should be on actively processing and honoring your grief in a way that allows you to heal.

How Can You Truly Heal from Grief?

Grief can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence. True healing comes when you give yourself permission to experience grief in a way that is authentic to you. Here are three steps that can help you navigate your grief journey:

1. Acknowledge and Feel Your Emotions

You can’t heal what you don’t feel. Grief isn’t something you can simply push away or rush through. The first step to healing is acknowledging the full range of emotions that accompany your loss. Whether it’s sadness, anger, or even relief, these feelings are valid. Sit with them, express them, and don’t rush to “fix” them. Take time to recognize the depth of your pain.

2. Avoid the Trap of Comparison

It’s easy to look at others and wonder if you’re grieving the “right” way, especially when the stages of grief are so widely accepted. But comparing your journey to others’ can prevent you from finding peace. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel. Focus on your unique path and trust that healing is a personal process.

3. Seek Support and Build Resilience

Grief is not a journey you should walk alone. Seeking support from loved ones or a grief recovery program can provide the tools you need to cope. Surround yourself with people who validate your emotions, not those who tell you to “move on.” Healing from grief requires resilience, and that comes from processing your emotions, finding meaning in the loss, and leaning on your faith and community.

Related Reading: How to Embrace Grief and Navigate Overwhelm Through Transitions

Related Reading: 10 Healing Tips to Find Comfort in the Midst of Grief

Grief is a deeply personal and often unpredictable journey. You may experience moments of peace, followed by waves of intense sorrow, and that’s okay. What matters most is allowing yourself to grieve in your own way. There is no “normal” when it comes to grief and no predetermined timeline for healing.

As Psalm 34:18 reminds you, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Even in the darkest moments of grief, God’s presence can bring comfort and peace. Keep leaning on Him as you navigate this journey, trusting that He walks with you every step of the way.

Trust that God walks with you through the valley of grief and will provide comfort and peace when you need it most. Allow yourself to grieve, and in time, your heart will begin to heal.

If you need more support on your grief journey, download my free guide, Debunking the Stages of Grief, to better understand how to heal from loss in a healthy, individualized way.

Seeking Support? Let’s Connect.

As a certified Grief Recovery Method specialist, I can help you heal your life and bust out of that jail cell you’ve been in. In as few as 8 weeks, you can experience freedom from a lifetime of stored grief. This method really works. I know from personal experience…it helped set me free.

If you’re walking through hard times and need guidance and encouragement, schedule a complimentary call with me. We’ll talk through your unique situation and see what your next best step is.

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